Restraint
by TheGethhaveacrushonme
Summary: After Shepard left her team behind and faced the reaper on Rannoch all by herself, Liara is battling with her feelings. Angst, fluff and smut ensue, not necessarily in that order. One shot.


The usual disclaimers: Bioware owns me. Or something like that.

Inspired by a kmeme prompt (and a lovely fill by a wonderful anon) about desperate sex between Shep and Garrus after Tuchanka or Rannoch. I figured Liara would have something to say about near-suicidal heroics, too.

* * *

She was gone before anyone could really protest, or even begin to fathom the madness of what she was about to do.

"Keelah, what is she doing?"

"She's trying to hone the targeting laser in on the eye," Liara said tonelessly.

"That is insane!"

It couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes, watching on a shaky screen as the tiny, indomitable figure sprinted and dodged and rolled away from the beam that could destroy her as if she were a paper doll. It felt like several eternities. She heard Tali next to her cry out and hiss and whisper "Keelah!" over and over, but she herself was beyond any kind of reaction. Until she felt Tali's hand gently squeezing hers and she grabbed it so hard Tali made a noise of discomfort, but didn't pull away.

She felt too numb to be relieved. She sat in the shuttle as Shepard helped make history once again. The fact that Legion had sacrificed himself got through to her somehow, but it barely registered, she couldn't feel a thing.

Shepard slumped down on the bench, eyes closed. There were dents and scratches in her armour, blades of some kind of grass lodged in the joints of her shoulder plates, where she must have hit the ground as she'd rolled away. She was covered head to toe in earth and dust, her red hair almost the colour of clay. A bruise was starting to form on her chin.

She could feel Tali's eyes on her and tore her gaze away from Shepard, fixed it on the floor instead, without actually seeing anything.

* * *

She had debriefed all relevant authorities, had let Dr Chakwas fuss over her for a bit and then taken a long, long shower that had washed away all the dirt, but couldn't quite ease the tension in her shoulders.

Just as she was done towelling herself off, the door slid open.

"Liara," she said softly.

"Don't say anything."

For a moment Liara just stood there, looking at her with an unfathomable expression on her face, then she walked over and tore the towel off her.

Shepard didn't even blink, just watched her calmly, took in the slight trembling of her hands, how her chest heaved with something that wasn't merely arousal. How Liara's eyes didn't meet hers when she pushed her backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed and she lost her balance at the next shove, landing rather roughly on her ass. The next moment, Liara had knelt down, forced her legs apart and buried her head in Shepard's lap.

"Damnit!" Shepard hissed, grabbed her crest and tried to edge back, but Liara slapped her hand away, then pinned it down at her side with surprising force. They both knew she couldn't really restrain Shepard, but for the moment, Shepard let her take control, surrendered to the lips closing around her clit, the tongue pushing into her. She came in a matter of minutes, but Liara neither let go of her nor seemed to be willing to meld, just kept licking her more than sensitive clit in a way that made Shepard splutter and curse and twitch against her, coming again as two fingers were roughly thrust into her. It went on like this for she didn't know how long, until her mind was entirely blank, too blank, this wasn't the way she wanted it, she wanted to feel Liara inside her mind, to become one, to share every touch and spark and tremor. The emptiness made her whimper and beg, plead with Liara to join with her.

Then even the sensation of fingers and tongue was gone, and she opened her eyes, looked up at Liara standing above her, blue eyes already darkened significantly.

"Is that really what you want?" Liara forced out, trembling ever so slightly.

And Shepard knew this wouldn't be a gentle, loving meld, but she still needed to feel her this way, and nodded.

"Yes."

Liara sat down next to her, pulled her close.

"Embrace eternity."

She flinched under the onslaught of emotions, the storm inside Liara's mind. Such anger, drowned out by an even greater sense of pain, thoughts rushing through her mind in a madness of fear and love.

_...how could you oh I want to believe in you but you scare me so and I love you I have never I was so lost without you before don't die Goddess please don't die I need you everyone needs you but I need you more and I want to be stronger but I can't anything everything for you just don't leave me again..._

It was hard to make herself heard over the turmoil, but eventually she managed to get a thought in edgeways.

_I'm still here and I love you more than anything._

She felt the meld ebbing away, Liara slowly retreating into her own mind. She hadn't been aware of falling back onto the bed, but they were lying side by side, Liara on her stomach, face pressed into a pillow, shoulders heaving while she sobbed.

"Hey, come here. Please."

Liara sniffed, then let herself be pulled into Shepard's arms, soft lips tracing kisses along her brow and over tear-dampened cheeks.

"I am so sorry," Liara whispered.

"I though I was the one who should feel sorry."

Liara took a deep breath.

"I told myself I wouldn't be a burden. That I could support you in whatever you did. That I wouldn't question you, because you were already getting enough of that from everyone else. But I..."

"Damn, Liara, stop it. I don't want you to hold back like that. I want you, I need you, all of you. I can handle it, I can take anything you want to throw at me, as long as you're here and you love me. You could never be a burden. I am the luckiest woman in the galaxy because you have decided to walk this path with me."

Liara kissed her, softy, still tasting of her, let Shepard's tongue tease her lips open, slip into her, while both sets of hands struggled to get her out of the clothes she was still fully clad in.

* * *

_You are so beautiful, Liara._

_Oh Goddess, more!_

Shepard felt the echo of her fingers inside Liara's body through the renewed meld, thumb rubbing her clit, and she started working her harder, faster, until Liara buckled against her, cries stifled by Shepard's tongue, as they both came as one.

Just before the meld faded away, she received one last, very distinct thought.

_I will walk this path with you, and if it leads into darkness, don't ever again expect me to stay on the sideline and watch._


End file.
